Help! I Am a Prisoner in a Toothpaste Factory ¦ The Boy with Illuminated Measles

'You were born for adventure, Ronnie. Therefore adventure must come your way.' And indeed it does in both these books. A message in his toothpaste sends him in search of Glum's toothpaste factory (part of an extra-terrestrial plot by Glum's Products to enslave all humans, including Ronnie's Mum and Dad, by addicting them). He finds himself on a houseboat full of chickens with Uncle Roger (escaping from toothpaste addiction and a belief that he's a chicken) on the way to Australia.

'Uncle Roger beamed. "My wife ran away to Australia. Or was it Wapping? She met a Madagascar seaman who turned her head with his curries."

"Do you want her back?"

"I didn't like her back. I didn't like her front very much either.'"

If that sort of goon-type humour is what appeals, these are your books.

Illuminated Measles includes Mum in orbit in a lift, the musicians from the Titanic preserved on an iceberg, Jonah in the whale, Russian spies and Hollywood.

Not recommended for the literal-minded or those who need a strong story-line.